Ideas Worth Sharing
What you SAY really isn't important.
Greg Elam
Principal
Solution House - Consultants
SolutionHouse@swbell.net
SURPRISED? Forgive my semi-stupid statement. To say it differently, “Are you listening to what they hear?” This subtle warning may be one of the most vital communications concepts that you’ve yet to consider.
In your work, you must regularly communicate with your boss, your meeting attendees, your selected hotel staff and a wide variety of suppliers. Allow me to share with you a potentially career-saving professional secret - What is heard is much more important than what is said.
In addition to a career of meeting planning, I’ve also had a parallel career in communications. Last week I was hired to consult with a new company and was attending meetings at its headquarters. While there I witnessed a heated disagreement between two very important people in the organization. The whole place was on its ear about their verbal altercation.
The important message to learn is that it isn’t valuable what you say when you are trying to communicate an idea. What does matter is what the other person hears. Of course, your intention is to share information accurately. Great. But consider this - the only thing that really matters to you is that the person correctly understands what you intended to communicate.
Effective communication occurs only when the receiver hears the message exactly as you intended. Many times they do not.
So what is the secret of successful verbal communications? Dial your mind into the person with whom you’re communicating.
Sales people listen differently than accountants. To get your intended message across to the other person (or group) you must aim for their interests, their knowledge level, and perhaps most importantly, their level of trust in you. When you learn to shape your thoughts and ideas toward your listener, then magic happens.
Back to my story of the unfortunate disagreement. Instantly I knew the problem, knew other issues that had everyone nervous, and overheard what each had said. When the three of us visited I explained that each had spoken about their own feelings, in anger, faulting the other. Both agreed and soon realized that if either had spoken of the actual situation rather than their own annoyance, they would not have said what they both deeply regretted. Both were amazed at the simple concept of communication based on how
and what the other person was going to hear.
The practice of listening to what others hear will be of great value. 
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